Part 2:

“Whoever conceals their sins does not prosper, but the one who confesses and renounces them finds mercy.” (Prov 28:13)

In Part 1, I said it: I am guilty. I have missed the mark.

And if I am going to be completely honest, admitting that is only the beginning.

Because apparently I have another little habit. I like to put a BUT behind my guilt. I know I was wrong, BUT…

And everything after that but becomes my defence. I shouldn’t have said that, but she hurt me first.

I shouldn’t have reacted like that, but you don’t know what I’ve been dealing with. I know I shouldn’t be holding this grudge, but you have no idea what they did to me. I know God told me to forgive, but they haven’t apologised. I know that attitude isn’t right, but I’m tired.

I know I shouldn’t have done it, but everybody makes mistakes. I know. But. And if I am not careful, my confession becomes an explanation.

My explanation becomes a justification. And suddenly I am asking God to forgive something I am still defending (Ouch).

That one got me. What if repentance has no BUT? What would happen if I came before God and simply said: Father, I sinned. Full stop. No explanation.

No carefully prepared evidence. No list of mitigating circumstances.

No pointing across the room at somebody else’s behaviour. No “Yes, but did You see what THEY did?” Just me and God. And truth. I was wrong.

That sounds terrifying until you remember who you are confessing to.

You are not confessing to Someone looking for ammunition against you. You are confessing to a Father who already knows. He knows what happened. He knows what they did. He knows what you felt. He knows what triggered you. He knows your history. He knows the wound underneath the reaction. He knows the entire story.

And still, He asks me to call my part what it is. Sin. But they really DID hurt me. This is where it gets difficult. Because sometimes the thing after my but is actually true. Maybe they did betray you. Maybe they did lie. Maybe they humiliated you. Maybe they abandoned you. Maybe what happened to you was deeply unfair. Maybe you have every human reason to be angry.

Acknowledging my sin does not mean pretending somebody else’s sin didn’t happen. It simply means their sin does not get to rename mine. Their cruelty does not make my bitterness holy.

Their dishonesty does not make my dishonesty righteous. Their gossip does not sanctify mine.

Their hatred does not make mine acceptable. Their disobedience does not excuse my disobedience. I can acknowledge what happened to me and take responsibility for what happened inside me.

Those two truths can exist together. And perhaps that is one of the hardest parts of spiritual maturity. To stop saying:“Look what they made me do.”

And start asking: “Jesus, what is happening in my heart?”

It becomes about restoring intimacy with Him.

There is freedom in owning it. This is what I am beginning to understand. Taking responsibility feels heavy when I think responsibility means condemnation.

But it becomes freeing when I realise responsibility leads me to mercy.

Proverbs 28:13 says:

“Whoever conceals their sins does not prosper, but the one who confesses and renounces them finds mercy.”

Find you mercy!

Love

V.L